All month, we’ve been helping leaders spot and address disengagement on their teams in our Managing Employee Disengagement series.
But disengagement doesn’t always happen below you on the org chart. Sometimes, the person checking out is your boss.
Maybe your one-on-one meetings keep getting canceled. Maybe every question gets the same answer: “Whatever you think is fine.” Or maybe your work seems to disappear into a void, with no feedback, no pushback, and no sign that anyone has even read it.
That can leave you unsure of where you stand and wondering how much effort to keep giving. After all, it’s hard to stay invested when the person who is supposed to guide your work no longer seems very invested themselves.
You may not be able to change what’s happening with your boss (and it isn’t your responsibility to reengage them) but you can create enough clarity, feedback, and support around your own work to keep their disengagement from dragging down your performance.
Today, we’ll look at where to start.
A Checked-Out Boss Can Leave You Feeling Unsettled
If a disengaged boss has left you feeling unusually uncertain, you’re not overreacting. Managers shape our priorities, evaluate our work, and often influence what opportunities come our way. Their attention carries weight.
In our “Bosses” survey of more than 7,700 people, a majority of respondents in 12 of the 16 personality types said that feedback from their boss affects them differently from feedback from anyone else.
Many people also pay close attention to their manager’s emotional state even when nothing is obviously wrong. For example, 69% of INFPs and 62% of INFJs say they worry about their boss’s mood.
So when a boss goes quiet, that silence leaves room for questions to arise:
Are they unhappy with me?
Is my job secure?
Is something going on that I don’t know about?
There are practical consequences too. A disengaged boss often provides less direction, less useful feedback, and less advocacy – all things that can affect your ability to do good work and keep growing.
First, a Reframe: It’s Probably Not About You
Leaders disengage for many of the same reasons as anyone else – reasons we covered together throughout this series. They may be burned out, frustrated by a decision they had no control over, disappointed about a missed opportunity, or struggling under a checked-out boss of their own.
You may never know exactly what’s going on. But their lack of energy or attention is not automatically a judgment on your work. Try to remember there are a variety of things that could be at play that you can’t see or aren’t privy to.
Even with that in mind, it can be tricky to muster up the motivation to do your best work under these conditions.
So here are 5 tips to help you build a way of working well when your boss is checked out:
1. Create the Clarity You Aren’t Getting
When direction dries up, write down what you believe the priorities are and give your boss an easy opportunity to correct you:
“Here’s what I’m planning to focus on for the next two weeks: [A], [B], and [C], in that order. If you’d change anything, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll move ahead with this plan.”
This is easier to respond to than “What should I prioritize?”
Your boss can approve it quickly, adjust one item, or say nothing – in which case, you still have a reasonable plan to work from. You also have a written record that you shared your priorities in advance.
2. Ask for One Specific Piece of Feedback
“Any feedback?” is easy to put off, even for an engaged manager. You’re more likely to get a response if you ask one focused question and make the time required clear:
“Could you look at the opening section before Friday and tell me whether the framing works? That’s the only part I need input on right now.”
A request like this gives your boss a clear place to start and a clear point at which they’re done. It won’t replace the thoughtful coaching you should be getting, but it can help you get useful input on the decisions that matter most.
3. Widen Your Sources of Feedback
In most roles, your boss should play an important part in your development, but they don’t have to be the only person you learn from.
Ask a trusted peer to give you an honest read on your work. Build a relationship with a manager on a neighboring team. Stay in touch with a mentor inside or outside the organization.
This ensures your growth doesn’t come to a halt because one person isn’t able to support it right now.
4. Make Your Contributions Easy to See
One of the quieter risks of working for a disengaged boss shows up at review or promotion time. The person expected to speak about your work may not have been paying enough attention to do it well.
Keep a simple record of what you’ve completed and what changed as a result. Share brief, useful updates with the people your work affects – stakeholders, cross-functional partners, or the team using what you’ve built.
You’re not trying to broadcast every accomplishment here, you just want to communicate well with the people involved in your work while making sure your contributions don’t disappear.
If your boss becomes more engaged again, that record will also make it easier for them to advocate for you.
5. Protect Your Own Motivation
Working for someone who no longer seems to care can make it much harder to keep caring yourself. Try to stay connected to the parts of your work that still matter to you: the standard you want to meet, the people your work helps, or the skills you’re trying to build.
Aim to produce work you can stand behind, even when your boss isn’t paying much attention. Because it’s the right thing to do, and you don’t want to let someone else’s disengagement decide what kind of employee you become.
A Season or a Pattern?
In fairness to bosses everywhere, managers go through difficult periods too. A brutal quarter, a family situation, or a reorganization they’re trying to absorb on the team’s behalf can make a good manager less available for a while.
As with employee disengagement, the thing to watch is a sustained change from how they used to show up. A few distracted weeks are different from months of canceled meetings, missing feedback, and little interest in your development.
If the pattern continues and your growth is clearly stalling, it may be time to explore opportunities on another team, or have a conversation with a skip-level manager. We’ve spent this month encouraging leaders to take disengagement seriously when it appears on their teams, so it’s okay to take it seriously when it appears above you, too.
If you’ve worked for a boss who checked out, what helped you keep doing good work? We’d love to hear what worked for you in the comments.
P. S. Understanding your own working style – what you need from a manager and what you can create for yourself – makes all of this easier. Our Free Personality Test is a great place to start.