Managing Up 101: Master Respectful Disagreement
Part 4 of 5 in our Managing Up Challenge for Leaders: How to Disagree with Your Boss (Without Damaging Your Career)
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Conflict makes me uncomfortable, and I often go out of my way to avoid it. (I’m not alone in this, either; 82% of people with my personality type – ISFJ – say they do the same.)
Conflict at work with the person who signs my paycheck? That’s downright terrifying.
But there’s an even scarier scenario: Agreeing with my superiors just to avoid conflict, offering little to no value in terms of independent thinking or honest feedback.
That is definitely not how I want to be known at work, and avoiding that fate is worth overcoming my fear.
Maybe you’ve also bitten your tongue because you’re worried about damaging your relationship with your boss or appearing insubordinate, only to watch a preventable problem unfold. Frustrating, right?
Here’s the kicker: Learning how to (professionally) disagree with your boss can prevent these situations and lead to better outcomes for your team. Done right, it can even strengthen – not diminish – your working relationship.
It’s Day 4 of the Managing Up Challenge, and today we’re exploring three proven approaches to mastering the art of respectful disagreement. Let’s dive in!
Day 4: Disagreeing Respectfully and Productively (You Are Here)
Day 5: Adding Real Value as an Effective Leader
Start with Common Ground: The Bridge to Productive Disagreement
The most productive discussions often start with one key ingredient: common ground.
When your boss feels understood and validated, it creates a sense of psychological safety that makes them more open to new ideas. By focusing on shared goals, you reduce their natural defenses and make it easier for them to engage in meaningful dialogue, rather than preparing to defend their position.
So, how can you put this into practice during a disagreement?
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