How to Stop Saying “Yes” When You Want to Say “No”

When You Start Protecting Your Energy, Everything Changes: Part 4 of 5 in Our Personal Leadership Challenge

Image from 16personalities.com

TL;DR:

• Setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult – it’s about protecting your energy to show up fully in life

• You know what boundaries are; the real challenge is respecting them for yourself

• Start by identifying one area where you feel drained (like always being available on message apps or saying yes to every social invitation)

• Set one clear boundary today: write it down and communicate it without apology

• Example: “I’m setting aside 7-8pm for family dinner, so I won’t be checking messages then”

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Hello, and welcome to Day 4 of the Personal Leadership Challenge! Today, we’re tackling one of the most challenging yet transformative practices: setting and maintaining personal boundaries.

The term “boundaries” has become a bit of a buzzword. You know what they are – but the real challenge lies in actually respecting them for yourself. (Be honest, how often have you said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”?)

Today, you’ll learn how to make intentional choices that protect your energy, well-being, and ability to show up fully for what matters most in your life.

To recap, here’s where you are in the Personal Leadership Challenge:

• Day 1: Take Responsibility for Your Actions

• Day 2: Build Trust Through Consistency

• Day 3: Coach Yourself Through Hard Moments

• Day 4: Set Healthy Boundaries to Protect Your Energy (You Are Here)

• Day 5: Have a Meaningful Conversation

The Power of Protective Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries, especially with people you care about or in situations where you want to be helpful, can feel incredibly difficult.

You know you need to protect your time and energy, but you also want to be there for others, to be liked, to be seen as capable and caring.

When that conflict arises, remind yourself that maintaining your energy isn’t selfish; it’s what enables you to show up fully and genuinely for others. Being perpetually depleted serves no one.

When you don’t set clear boundaries, you might find yourself feeling resentful, exhausted, or stretched too thin. That friend who always needs “just a quick favor” that turns into hours of emotional support, the family member who expects immediate responses to their messages, or your own habit of saying “yes” to every social invitation – these small energy drains add up.

Without healthy limits, you’ll likely find yourself running on empty, unable to give your best to the people and projects that truly matter to you.

Boundaries in Action

Let’s look at a common scenario: