How to Lead with Emotional Intelligence
Advice for YOU Based on Your Personality Type
Together, we’ve spent the past month delving into emotionally intelligent leadership. You’ve put in the work and gained insights into the best approaches for leading the different personality types on your team. Nicely done!
(If you missed an article, here’s where you can catch up on the full emotionally intelligent leadership series.)
But today, we want to focus on YOU and your goals.
How does your personality influence your ability to lead with emotional intelligence?
What unique strengths do you bring to the table, and what specific challenges do you face?
How can you further develop your emotional intelligence based on your personality?
We’re answering all of those questions today! Read through the entire article to learn about all 16 personalities, or scroll directly to the section about your type. The choice is yours. Either way, we hope it’s an enlightening read.
Starting tomorrow, we’re switching gears and diving into change leadership!
You’ll learn how to successfully manage team members through change in a way that’s tailored to their personality type.
Navigating Emotionally Intelligent Leadership for Every Personality Type
INTJ (Architect) Leaders
Strength:
INTJs excel at objectively analyzing complex emotional situations. They can detach and view interpersonal dynamics from a strategic perspective, allowing them to make well-reasoned decisions that consider long-term impacts on the team and organization.
Challenge:
INTJs can (unintentionally) come across as aloof or uncaring to their team members. Their preference for internal processing and reluctance to openly share feelings can create a perceived emotional distance, potentially hindering trust and rapport-building with colleagues.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Create an “emotional check-in” system. Regularly schedule brief, one-on-one meetings with team members, treating them as data-gathering opportunities. Prepare a few key questions about team members’ emotional state and work satisfaction. As an INTJ, you can use your strategic thinking to analyze patterns over time, identifying potential issues before they escalate.
INTP (Logician) Leaders
Strength:
INTPs’ logical approach allows them to see patterns that others might miss, enabling them to make fair and unbiased decisions in emotionally charged workplace situations.
Challenge:
INTPs may struggle with reading the emotions of their team members, or dismissing what they do pick up on. Their tendency to prioritize logic over emotion can sometimes make them appear detached or unsupportive to team members who need emotional validation.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Develop a systematic approach to emotional support. Create a mental framework for common emotional scenarios in the workplace, along with appropriate supportive responses. For example, when a team member expresses frustration, respond with: “I understand that this situation is challenging. Can you elaborate on what aspects are most difficult for you?” Regularly analyze the effectiveness of each response, and refine your approach as needed.
ENTJ (Commander) Leaders
Strength:
ENTJs’ natural ability to read group dynamics, combined with their strategic thinking, allows them to motivate and inspire others effectively, creating a sense of purpose and direction that resonates with their team members.
Challenge:
ENTJs’ focus on efficiency and results can sometimes overshadow the importance of individual team members’ emotional needs, potentially leading to a perception of being overly demanding or insensitive to personal circumstances.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Implement a “connection before direction” approach. Before diving into tasks or giving directives, take a moment to genuinely inquire about team members’ well-being or recent experiences. As an ENTJ, you can use your natural ability to read people to identify emotional undercurrents, then explicitly acknowledge those feelings before moving forward with business. This can help you balance your results-oriented leadership style with a more empathetic approach, fostering stronger connections within the team.
ENTP (Debater) Leaders
Strength:
ENTP leaders are visionary and adaptable, shifting their perspectives to meet the demands of the moment and inspiring innovative thinking in their teams.
Challenge:
Follow-through can be a struggle for ENTPs, creating a sense of unease and frustration for many as priorities change from moment to moment.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
As an ENTP leader, you can use your broader vision to establish overarching patterns in your planning, enhancing your follow-through. Then you can use your adaptability to ensure that day-to-day activities meet the needs of that broader plan. This helps ensure that both stability-seeking and novelty-seeking personality types on your team are able to stay on task and motivated, knowing that they have something clear they’re working toward.
INFJ (Advocate) Leaders
Strength:
INFJs can intuitively understand and empathize with others’ emotions and motivations, allowing them to create harmonious work environments and foster strong, meaningful connections with team members.
Challenge:
INFJs may struggle with setting and maintaining clear boundaries, often absorbing others’ emotions to the point of emotional exhaustion. This can lead to burnout and difficulty in making tough (but necessary) decisions that might negatively impact team members.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Practice “compassionate detachment” by acknowledging team members’ feelings without taking them on personally. When faced with difficult decisions, anticipate emotional responses, then prepare supportive strategies in advance. This approach allows you to maintain your caring INFJ leadership style while protecting your own emotional well-being and making necessary tough choices.
INFP (Mediator) Leaders
Strength:
INFPs can recognize and nurture individual potential in others. Their idealistic nature, combined with their keen insight into personal values, allows them to envision and inspire the best possible version of each team member.
Challenge:
INFPs may struggle with providing direct feedback or addressing conflicts, especially when it involves potential disappointment or hurt feelings. Their desire to maintain harmony and avoid causing emotional distress can lead to important issues being left unaddressed.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Practice “compassionate directness.” When giving feedback or addressing conflicts, start by acknowledging the emotions and values at play for all parties involved. Then frame the necessary conversation as a collaborative effort to honor everyone’s needs and the team’s overall mission. This approach allows you to address important issues while staying true to your values of authenticity and emotional consideration.
ENFJ (Protagonist) Leaders
Strength:
ENFJs show genuine concern for people’s well-being, and their natural talent for understanding group dynamics allows them to create a shared vision that resonates with team members’ individual aspirations, fostering a sense of unity and purpose in the workplace.
Challenge:
ENFJs can become overly invested in their team members’ personal and professional lives. This can inadvertently create a culture of dependency, hindering team members’ ability to develop their own problem-solving skills and emotional resilience.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Cultivate “empowered empathy.” When team members come to you with problems, use your ENFJ communication skills to guide them through a structured problem-solving process rather than immediately offering solutions. Acting as a supportive leader who believes in their capabilities, ask thought-provoking questions that help them tap into their own wisdom and resources. This way, you can maintain a supportive leadership style while promoting independence and resilience in your team.
ENFP (Campaigner) Leaders
Strength:
ENFPs are great at creating an energetic, positive work environment where team members feel motivated to contribute their best ideas. They have a knack for spotting potential in both people and ideas.
Challenge:
ENFPs may struggle with follow-through and maintaining focus on long-term projects. They’re easily excited by new ideas, which can lead to frequent shifts in direction – a frustrating occurrence for team members who value consistency and structure.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Implement a “weekly wins and next steps” ritual. At the end of each week, lead a brief team meeting where everyone shares their biggest accomplishment that week and their main goal for the following week. As an ENFP, you can use your natural enthusiasm to celebrate progress and generate excitement for upcoming tasks. This simple practice helps maintain focus on ongoing projects and provides a gentle structure for follow-through without feeling overly restrictive.
ISTJ (Logistician) Leaders
Strength:
ISTJs’ calm demeanor and reliable nature create a sense of security for team members, especially during times of stress or change.
Challenge:
ISTJs’ preference for logic and structure can sometimes lead to overlooking or undervaluing the importance of emotional expression in the workplace, potentially causing them to miss nonverbal cues or dismiss emotional concerns as irrelevant.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Implement an “emotional check-in” system to gather information about team members’ emotional states and concerns. This could involve scheduled one-on-one meetings or a simple rating system for team morale. Treat this data on your team’s emotions with the same importance as other key performance indicators. This approach can help you better understand your team’s needs while staying true to your preference for structure and reliability.
ISFJ (Defender) Leaders
Strength:
ISFJs notice and remember details about their team members’ emotions, preferences, and personal situations, allowing them to create a supportive and harmonious work environment where individuals feel truly seen and valued.
Challenge:
ISFJs’ natural tendencies to avoid conflict and prioritize harmony can sometimes lead to difficulty in addressing performance issues or delivering constructive criticism. This reluctance to engage in potentially uncomfortable conversations may hinder necessary growth and development within their team.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Create a “feedback framework” for the team. For each team member, maintain a record of their individual communication preferences, past successes, and areas for growth. When addressing a performance issue, use this personalized information to frame feedback in a way that resonates with the individual. For example, “Remember how well you handled [specific past success]? I’d love to see you apply those same skills to [current challenge].” This framework can help you provide necessary feedback while maintaining a supportive, personalized tone.
ESTJ (Executive) Leaders
Strength:
ESTJs are great at creating clear structures and processes in the workplace, fostering a predictable and supportive work environment where team members feel confident in their roles and responsibilities.
Challenge:
ESTJs’ natural tendency to be direct, decisive, and action-oriented can sometimes come across as overly blunt or insensitive, particularly to team members who require a more nuanced or supportive approach.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Develop a “communication style matrix” for the team. Categorize different communication styles (e.g., direct, diplomatic, supportive, analytical) and map out how each team member prefers to receive information and feedback. Use this matrix as a practical tool to consciously adjust your communication approach for each team member or situation. For instance, when addressing a more sensitive team member, provide more positive reinforcement. For a more analytical team member, focus on data and logical reasoning.
ESFJ (Consul) Leaders
Strength:
ESFJs excel at remembering personal details, anticipating needs, and providing emotional support, allowing them to foster strong connections within the team and help team members feel valued and understood.
Challenge:
ESFJs may unconsciously create an “inner circle” of those who align closely with their values, potentially ostracizing others and creating an imbalanced team dynamic. This can manifest as showing favoritism, allocating more resources or opportunities to certain team members, or being more receptive to ideas from their inner circle.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Maintain a simple “connection checklist” to ensure equal engagement with all team members, including items like “Had a one-on-one conversation” and “Sought their opinion on a key decision.” This tool can help you use your interpersonal skills to foster inclusivity and develop a balanced leadership style while maintaining your warm, supportive approach.
ISTP (Virtuoso) Leaders
Strength:
ISTPs excel at maintaining emotional composure during crises or high-pressure situations. Their levelheaded nature can stabilize their team during turbulent times, helping to reduce panic and foster clear, rational decision-making.
Challenge:
ISTPs’ preference for action over discussion can lead them to overlook the importance of regular emotional check-ins and team bonding, leaving team members feeling emotionally disconnected or unsupported during day-to-day operations.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Implement a “quick pulse” system during one-on-one meetings. At the end of each meeting, ask team members to briefly share their current emotional state using a simple 1–5 scale, where 1 is “struggling” and 5 is “thriving.” Allow them to provide a short explanation if – and only if – they wish to do so. When lower numbers are shared, address the issues efficiently and directly. This method allows you to stay attuned to your team’s emotional needs without requiring extensive discussions.
ISFP (Adventurer) Leaders
Strength:
ISFPs excel at tailoring their leadership style to each team member’s unique needs and motivations, fostering a work environment where team members feel genuinely understood and supported.
Challenge:
ISFPs may struggle with providing timely, constructive feedback, especially when it involves criticism. Their desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict can lead to a reluctance to directly address performance issues or interpersonal conflicts.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Implement a “gentle feedback journal” practice. After each workday, take a few minutes to jot down one positive observation and one area for improvement for each team member you interacted with. Every couple of weeks, use these notes to have a brief, low-pressure chat with the relevant team members, framing it as a casual check-in rather than a formal review. This approach allows you to provide regular, balanced feedback in a way that feels more natural and less confrontational.
ESTP (Entrepreneur) Leaders
Strength:
ESTPs excel at taking swift, decisive action in emotionally charged situations. Their ability to remain calm and focused on facts allows them to cut through emotional tension and guide their team toward practical solutions, maintaining morale in high-pressure moments.
Challenge:
ESTPs often struggle with recognizing and valuing the emotional needs of their team members. Their strong preference for facts and pragmatism over feelings can lead them to overlook or dismiss important emotional undercurrents within the team.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Create a simple, action-oriented checklist of observable behaviors that indicate potential emotional issues in team members (e.g., decreased productivity, increased absenteeism, changes in communication patterns, etc.). When you notice these indicators, you can approach the situation with compassion and support: have a caring conversation with the team member, focusing on understanding their perspective and offering assistance. Collaborate with the individual to identify potential resources or adjustments that could help improve their well-being and, consequently, their work experience.
ESFP (Entertainer) Leaders
Strength:
ESFPs excel at boosting team morale through their natural enthusiasm and ability to create a positive, energetic work atmosphere. This enables them to motivate their team by making work feel more enjoyable and fostering a sense of camaraderie.
Challenge:
ESFPs often struggle with addressing serious issues or providing constructive criticism due to their strong desire to maintain a harmonious, fun work environment. This can lead to important problems being overlooked or unresolved.
Developing Emotional Intelligence:
Incorporate a quick “high-low” sharing moment at the end of one-on-one meetings with team members. Ask team members to briefly share one highlight and one challenge from their week. As an ESFP, you can use your natural enthusiasm to celebrate the highs and your in-the-moment focus to address the lows with immediate, practical suggestions and support. This simple practice allows you to maintain a positive atmosphere while still acknowledging and addressing challenges.
Final Takeaway
Each personality type brings unique strengths and challenges to emotionally intelligent leadership. But in the end, emotionally intelligent leadership is not about being perfect or “fixing” weaknesses – it’s about being authentic, empathetic, and continuously striving for growth. No matter your personality type, you have the potential to become an exceptional, emotionally intelligent leader. The path may look different for each type, but the destination – impactful, inspiring leadership – remains the same.
Starting Tomorrow: Change Leadership
Change is now a daily reality for everyone, especially leaders. So how can you guide your team to thrive, not just survive, through change? We’re answering that very question and more with an August deep dive into change leadership.
Stay tuned for a new change leadership challenge coming TOMORROW!
Here’s a sneak peek of what you’ll learn in the personality-specific deep dives for change leadership:
Get strategies for managing all 16 personality types through change
Find out how to keep your team motivated during transitions
Explore ways to help your team embrace change confidently
We’re also changing up the content format based on your feedback. Expect more quick-hitting insights throughout August that you can grasp (and apply) almost immediately.
See you tomorrow!