How to Build Everyday Resilience as a Leader

Part 1 of 5 in our Developing Resilience Challenge: Discover simple habits to keep you energized and focused through routine stressors

Image from 16Personalities.com

Once when I was working as a product manager, I had just finished meeting with my development team. We had set our sprint plan and were excited about the work ahead. Spirits were high when I signed off that night.

The next morning, leadership told me to completely change direction. The team’s focus had to shift to a new priority, and I knew this news would throw them for a loop.

Part of me wanted to call in sick, delay the conversation, and buy some time. But I knew that wasn’t fair – to me or to them. So I pushed on, staying resilient through the grind of an unwelcome challenge.

Today, I want to help you build that same personal resilience, the kind that you can rely on through everyday challenges, not just big crises. I believe that these small, everyday moments are where resilience is truly built. 

You might notice that your resilience is tested more during big, headline-worthy crises, of course, but it is forged in the quiet, routine struggles. 

*Sips tea* 

Let’s begin!

Today, we’ll cover how to:

• Minimize the emotional impact of tough conversations with team members (so you can carry on with the rest of your day)

• Keep going when things aren’t moving as fast as you’d like

• Reduce the mental load of constant decision-making

• Build small daily habits that keep you grounded and energized every day

Resilience Through Day-to-Day Personnel Challenges

I’ve only been involved in firing one person in my professional life. That person never actually showed up to the meeting, but I still stressed about it before and after the event. 

Leadership often requires handling tough conversations like these, whether it’s firing a team member or addressing underperformance. And there’s no way to avoid it, either – the only way through is through. 

Moments like these can take an emotional toll that can impact you for the rest of the day. While lingering effects might be unavoidable to an extent, there are things you can do to minimize the impact – learning to recognize and regulate your emotional responses in the moment can be a big help. 

Here’s a 60-second reset that you can use to shift away from an emotional reaction and regain control and clarity after dealing with a personnel challenge:

1. Pause: After the difficult conversation, stop and take a slow, deep breath – inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. This simple reset helps calm your nervous system.

2. Name the emotion: Identify what you’re feeling: frustration, disappointment, etc. Naming the emotion gives you distance and control over it. 

3. Reframe: Acknowledge that the conversation may have been tough, but it was necessary. Reframe the experience as part of leading effectively, even when it’s challenging. 

4. Move forward: With your emotions regulated, you can continue your day with a clear mind, not carrying the stress into your next task.

By using this reset to practice regulating your emotions, you’ll not only manage your own stress better, but also prevent it from negatively affecting your team. It’s a win-win.

To go deeper into this topic, check out our Emotionally Intelligent Leadership series. You might want to start with the 30-day challenge to boost your own emotional intelligence. 👇

Resilience Through Slow Progress, Failures, or Setbacks

Just like personnel challenges, slow progress and setbacks are inevitable, no matter how carefully you plan. Missed KPIs happen, and projects stall or even flatline. Having to endure moments like these can tempt you to hit snooze or delay starting your day.

So how do you stay motivated – and keep your team motivated – when things aren’t going your way? Well, it requires a whole lot of mental toughness and a small shift in perspective. 

Mental toughness doesn’t mean ignoring the very real frustration that you feel – it means acknowledging it and moving forward anyway. Pushing through small setbacks like frustration rather than giving up is the first step to developing an unshakable resilience. 

Then build upon that by practicing these three shifts in perspective:

1. Reframe slow progress: View delays or missed KPIs as part of the journey. Ask yourself, What progress have I made? What can I learn from this? This turns setbacks into opportunities for growth.

2. Focus on micro-goals: Break down overwhelming tasks into smaller, more manageable ones. Each completed task, no matter how small, is a win that builds momentum.

3. Reconnect with your purpose: When progress slows, remind yourself and your team why the project matters. Tying daily tasks to the bigger picture can keep motivation alive, even during slow periods.

Resilience Through Decision Fatigue

There’s a hidden drain on your resilience that you may not have considered: decision fatigue. It happens when your mental energy is depleted from constant decision-making, which can make even small choices feel overwhelming. 

While decision fatigue isn’t as visible as tough conversations or missed KPIs are, its impact on resilience is just as significant. When decision fatigue sets in, you may start delaying decisions, avoiding them, or making quick, impulsive choices just to get them off your plate. A tired mind is not a strategic mind, and poor decisions can lead to more problems down the road.

While decision-making is inevitable in a leadership position, there are ways to conserve your mental energy and combat decision fatigue. Try these four strategies:

1. Batch your decisions: Group similar decisions together at set times. For example, schedule specific times to review reports or approve tasks, reducing cognitive load for bigger decisions.

2. Set routines for small decisions: Automate low-stakes decisions, including personal ones like meals or outfits (as some leaders famously do). This frees up mental energy for high-priority choices.

3. Prioritize high-energy times: Make your most important decisions during peak energy times, such as the morning, to ensure clarity and focus.

4. Delegate when possible: Not every decision needs to be yours. Trust your team with smaller decisions, which also helps build their confidence and skills.

Your Action Item: Build a Resilience Routine

Now for the fun part – it’s time to create a resilience routine to keep you grounded and energized throughout the day. This routine will provide quick habits that you can rely on to recharge and maintain your mental and emotional balance.

Your routine doesn’t need to be elaborate – just pick one or two simple practices. Consider these strategies that we covered today:

1. Take micro-breaks: During high-pressure moments, step away for a quick reset. Take a walk, do a two-minute mindfulness exercise, or simply pause to breathe. These small breaks help clear your mind and restore focus.

2. Reframe and reflect: When facing slow progress or setbacks, take a moment to reframe the situation. Focus on the bigger picture or the lessons learned. Regular reflection turns frustrations into opportunities for growth.

The key is consistency. Integrate these actions into your daily routine, so that they’ll become automatic responses to stress. Whether it’s a brief mindfulness practice or a quick walk, these habits will help you maintain the mental clarity and emotional strength needed to lead effectively.

Final Takeaway: Build Resilience Before Burnout Hits

Resilience isn’t just for the big, dramatic moments – it’s something that you need every day to stay grounded and keep moving forward. 

Handling tough conversations, staying motivated during slow progress, and managing decision fatigue are all part of the daily grind of leadership. Overcoming these everyday moments can help you build the personal resilience that you’ll need for bigger challenges.

Don’t wait until burnout strikes. Start practicing these strategies now to stay motivated and prevent the stress buildup that leads to burnout.

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Your Five-Day Developing Resilience Challenge

Tomorrow, we’ll dive into Day 2 of our challenge: testing resilience in Analyst personalities, where we’ll explore the specific challenges that test the ability of these personality types to bounce back. (In a fun new story format!)

Here’s a quick look at your five-day Developing Resilience Challenge: 

• Day 1: Building Everyday Resilience (You are here) 

• Day 2: Testing Resilience in Analysts 

• Day 3: Testing Resilience in Diplomats 

• Day 4: Testing Resilience in Sentinels 

• Day 5: Testing Resilience in Explorers