How to Become a Leader You Respect
Part 1 of 5 in our Earning Respect Challenge: Discover how to build an unshakable inner strength through self-respect
Welcome to Day 1 of our five-day Earning Respect Challenge, where we’re exploring how to cultivate self-respect as a leader.
True leadership isn’t about fancy titles or a corner office – it’s about the choices you make, especially when no one is watching. Do you take the easy route, or do you stand by your principles, even when it’s tough?
Today, you’ll learn how to develop the inner strength that keeps you grounded when leadership gets challenging or when self-doubt starts to creep in. Building this level of self-respect won’t just change how you lead – it’ll transform who you are as a leader.
*sips tea*
Let’s dive in!
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Respect
Being liked and being respected can be two very different things – but both influence how you show up as a leader.
Self-esteem is about how much you like yourself (and is often influenced by how much you’re liked). It’s important, no doubt, but it can be a bit of a fair-weather friend, changing with circumstances and other people’s opinions.
Self-respect, on the other hand, is about how much you honor your own values and integrity. When cultivated, it can be steadier and more resilient. You might not always like every decision you make, but you can respect yourself for making tough calls if they align with your principles.
As a leader, you might encounter team members or colleagues who like you but don’t necessarily respect you, as well as others who respect you but might not particularly like you. Prioritizing respect over likability can be a tougher path, but it builds a foundation that no amount of criticism or praise can shake.
So how can you become someone you wholeheartedly respect? Start by doing this. 👇
Get clear on your core values and ethical boundaries, then use those as a sounding board when making decisions. This will help you make decisions you can stand behind, even if they’re unpopular.
Cultivating Self-Respect through Accountability
Building self-respect takes time. It’s cultivated day by day, decision by decision. But there is a secret ingredient that can speed up the process: accountability.
In simple terms, accountability means consistently following through on your commitments and taking responsibility for your actions (whether the outcomes are positive or negative) – and it can be surprisingly hard to do.
How many times have you set a deadline for yourself but let it pass without a second thought? Or committed to giving constructive feedback to your team, only to avoid the conversation because it was uncomfortable?
Each time you neglect to follow through on these commitments – no matter how small – you erode not just your own self-respect but also the credibility you’ve built with others. So let’s disrupt the pattern, shall we?
Starting right now, here’s what I want you to do:
Treat your commitments as nonnegotiable. Before you say you’ll do something, ask yourself, “Am I really going to follow through on this?” If the answer is no, don’t make the promise.
Accountable, consistent leadership can create a sense of safety and stability for both you and your entire team, even in an ever-changing workplace. Plus, it just feels really good to know that you can trust yourself to follow through on your promises.
Sustaining Self-Respect in Challenging Situations
It’s easy to respect yourself when everything’s going well, but the real test comes during tough times – like when you’re facing a crisis, making an unpopular decision, or owning up to a major mistake.
In moments like these, it can be tempting to choose what’s easy over what’s right – but that choice can come at the cost of your self-respect.
Instead, take a moment to pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your worth isn’t defined by your circumstances. With that grounded perspective, focus on what you can control. You may not be able to change the situation, but you can choose how you respond to it. Make sure your response aligns with your core principles, and you’ll preserve your self-respect, even in the toughest times.
During tough times, ask yourself, “What would the leader I want to be do right now?” Then do that.
Your Self-Respect Action Item
We’ve covered a lot of ground today, but all this knowledge doesn’t mean much if we don’t put it into action, right? So here’s your action item for the day. 👇
Your Action Item
For the next 24 hours, before every decision you make, big or small, ask yourself this question: “Will I respect myself more or less after making this choice?”
That’s it. Just one question, but it has the power to transform your day, your leadership, and ultimately, your self-respect.
Your Five-Day Earning Respect Challenge
Tomorrow, we’ll dive into Day 2 of our challenge: earning respect from Analyst personalities. Get ready for strategies to connect with and earn respect from these logical, strategic thinkers.
Here’s a quick look at your five-day Earning Respect Challenge:
Day 1: Cultivating Self-Respect (You are here)
Day 2: Earning Respect from Analysts
Day 3: Earning Respect from Diplomats
Day 4: Earning Respect from Sentinels
Day 5: Earning Respect from Explorers